Why I’m Undecided

I’m writing blog posts for the DailyNorthwestern weekly now, so I’m just going to cross post those on here too. At least this way there will be more regular content!

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Declaring your major seems like the kind of thing you would decide for yourself, but as an undeclared major leaning toward economics, I’ve found it’s a choice that was made for me. It was easy in high school when I wasn’t alone in being undecided. And I always went with the assumption that it would just all click for me in college. Somehow, after taking a class at Northwestern and meeting new people, I thought I would have a much better idea of what I want to do. But it didn’t quite work out the way. There was no freshman Fall Quarter epiphany. Instead, a year later, I’m muddling my way through courses as though I’m an econ major.

In my first year, by choosing not to take certain classes, the pruning began. I wasn’t taking a science class—there goes the pre-med route. No art history or philosophy—so those options slowing started dying too. And I didn’t take any McCormick classes, so there goes engineering. I’m not trying to sound like some pocket protector-wearing, calculator-carrying academic enthusiast who wants to exhaust NU’s entire course catalog—I don’t. And yeah, I know if I really wanted to I could start taking Engineering Analysis or organic chemistry and go down a different track, but I don’t want to be an undergrad until I’m 30 either.

Honestly, I don’t think I want to go into any of the fields I mentioned above, nothing against those paths. The problem is, I didn’t actively make that choice. I never said, “I don’t want to be a mechanical engineer,” or, “I don’t want to be a doctor.” By taking the courses I did, the decision was passively made for me.

The econ courses I have taken, ironically, taught me the options I’m forgoing make up the opportunity cost. And that’s the hardest thing for me: coming to terms with that opportunity cost. College is an incredible place, and the opportunity is unbelievable. But as soon as we step onto campus, that opportunity starts diminishing. Not because it stops existing, but because one person cannot possibly take advantage of all of it—or even a significant portion.

In the end, I’m sure I’ll declare an econ major, I’ll work through those classes and maybe I’ll even pick up another minor along the way. But when I declare my major, in some sense it will mark me as officially accepting that opportunity cost. It’ll mark my acceptance that there are some options I’m closing off for good. I’m not ready for those constraints yet, even if the process has been tacitly ongoing for months.

I applaud those who know what they want to do and where they want to go, but I really sympathize with students who aren’t quite ready to make that limiting declaration. It’s really difficult to commit to a major that you aren’t even certain about. It’s an important decision and not one that should be made halfheartedly. But today, one-third of the way through my collegiate career, I still haven’t had that epiphany—that moment when I’m perfectly certain about what I want to do. Hopefully I won’t have to wait as long as the Cubs, but I’m going to stay undecided until I have that moment… at least until some deadline makes that decision for me.